Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
