Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
