On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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