I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I love you. Go after that dick
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
