You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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