and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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