All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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