That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you would pick up someone in the library
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
