mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
