In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
