Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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