is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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