I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
