so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
