i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
