Screwed.edu
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
