Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let's paint friendship bongs
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We're too hungover to prance.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
