Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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