Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
