Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
