While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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