I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
