Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
