the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
