Swine flu. Run for my life!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
