so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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