so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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