I showed him my bush... on skype.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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