We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
