Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
