he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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