Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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