That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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