So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Too much gin, very little bucket
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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