is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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