Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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