One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
