hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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