if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
