my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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