I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
