I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
