In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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