And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
