I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
