im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
