i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
