it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
