I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
