I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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